If one studied the memos which did the rounds, one could quite easily imagine the events that led to it.
Each crisis faced was thus chronicled by an appropriately worded memo. New administrative rules were created at the drop of a hat. No matter how absurd.
The current memo in circulation often indicated an accurate reading of the administrative woes of the company. Good practices of HR and Personnel Management were, however, realms that no one in this department had ever entered.
At other times, the memos reflected the diabolical cunning with which the small organisation (read LL & co) found new ways to frustrate us and take the joy out of living.
Each crisis faced was thus chronicled by an appropriately worded memo. New administrative rules were created at the drop of a hat. No matter how absurd.
The current memo in circulation often indicated an accurate reading of the administrative woes of the company. Good practices of HR and Personnel Management were, however, realms that no one in this department had ever entered.
At other times, the memos reflected the diabolical cunning with which the small organisation (read LL & co) found new ways to frustrate us and take the joy out of living.
Office Memo no. 91
Dear Marrkitians,
We are happy to see that our new policy of introducing alternate Saturdays as a half-day off for the first time in the history of this company was welcomed by all.
However, we have noticed that some employees have taken undue advantage of our leave rules. (Author's note: One of the newcomers had had the temerity to club his compensatory leave with a Sunday)
However, we have noticed that some employees have taken undue advantage of our leave rules. (Author's note: One of the newcomers had had the temerity to club his compensatory leave with a Sunday)
Here are new amendments to the Marrkit Leave Rule Policy:-
1. If you have not taken an alternate Saturday off in the month, you are entitled to take a compensatory half-day leave on any other day of the week.
2. This compensatory leave can only be taken in the week following the Saturday you worked on. It expires thereafter.
3. It cannot be taken on any day preceding or succeeding a holiday, including Sundays. (Saturdays & Mondays, therefore, cannot be taken as a half day off)
4. Care should be taken, after permission from your respective group head, that your day of leave does not hinder regular flow of work. (Author's note: The clincher. This clause effectively meant that no one could take any compensatory leave… ever.)
5. More than two persons cannot take the compensatory leave on the same day. More than one person in the same group cannot take the compensatory leave on the same day.
6. Please submit your application letter for compensatory leave in triplicate, that is, one copy to LL, one to the EA and one to the respective group head.
2. This compensatory leave can only be taken in the week following the Saturday you worked on. It expires thereafter.
3. It cannot be taken on any day preceding or succeeding a holiday, including Sundays. (Saturdays & Mondays, therefore, cannot be taken as a half day off)
4. Care should be taken, after permission from your respective group head, that your day of leave does not hinder regular flow of work. (Author's note: The clincher. This clause effectively meant that no one could take any compensatory leave… ever.)
5. More than two persons cannot take the compensatory leave on the same day. More than one person in the same group cannot take the compensatory leave on the same day.
6. Please submit your application letter for compensatory leave in triplicate, that is, one copy to LL, one to the EA and one to the respective group head.
Kindly adhere to these rules. This memo is available in the leave rule file for reference.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 123
Dear Marrkitians,
Greetings for this festive season!
The Diwali bonus cheques will be given out on the day of Diwali at 8 a.m.
Kindly be present for the pooja and to receive the swami's blessings. The swami will be from Iskcon temple.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 145
Dear Marrkitians,
Days on which Marrkit will observe a public holiday for this year:
1. 1st January
2. Republic Day - 26th January
3. Independence Day - 15th August
4. Diwali day
No other public or bank holiday will be recognized.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 162
Dear Marrkitians,
The biscuits and snacks provided in the office pantry are for all to enjoy as a facility, however they are primarily provided to be served to clients.
Our office boys have reported that in the last month, the standard biscuit, tea and coffee stock has depleted far more quickly.
This is a gentle reminder that as per our new Marrkit Cost Cutting policy, we would like to hope that we can refrain from having to increase supplies for the next month. We appreciate your support.
Our office boys have reported that in the last month, the standard biscuit, tea and coffee stock has depleted far more quickly.
This is a gentle reminder that as per our new Marrkit Cost Cutting policy, we would like to hope that we can refrain from having to increase supplies for the next month. We appreciate your support.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 179
Dear Marrkitians,
I will be going for my annual vacation to Switzerland from 15th April to 29th May.
Kindly note that no group heads are allowed to take leave during this time. I am confident that you will ensure that the office remains fully operational in every way.
During my absence, I will call at 9.00 a.m. (IST) to speak to the group heads, everyday.
Kindly note that no group heads are allowed to take leave during this time. I am confident that you will ensure that the office remains fully operational in every way.
During my absence, I will call at 9.00 a.m. (IST) to speak to the group heads, everyday.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 185
Dear Marrkitians,
It has been brought to our notice that two employees left for lunch outside of the office premises for 25 minutes.
We expect you to be present in the office during your lunch in case of call, emergency or requirement for your clients.
We expect you to be present in the office during your lunch in case of call, emergency or requirement for your clients.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 204
Dear Marrkitians,
Your cars are parked at the parking space within building premises at your own risk.
We regret to state that in the event of any Marrkit office boy helping himself to your car keys and damaging your car, this organisation will not take responsibility for the same.
We regret to state that in the event of any Marrkit office boy helping himself to your car keys and damaging your car, this organisation will not take responsibility for the same.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 222
Dear Marrkitians,
It has been brought to our notice that some of you are not printing out all emails received at the company email id.
Kindly see to it that all emails received and sent are maintained as a printout.
Kindly see to it that all emails received and sent are maintained as a printout.
Signed
LL
Office Memo no. 244
To A. Joshi,
Still awaiting a printout of the complete company website for review.
Signed
LL
5 comments:
We used to get such memo in a certain office at a certain place. some of the headlines were: Attack of the red ants, Territory marking in the fridge, Use of the waste paper baskets etc. etc.
:-) That's really funny. I guess the Catbert kind of person exists everywhere...
How on earth did you survive this place.......although i do remember a brief window in my work life where i was required to drop a chit in the in tray of the 'boss' with digits indicating my time of leaving office.....fortunately for me he exited (un ceremoniously) 2 months into my stint and life got better from there on.....good stuff tho...enjoyed reading it - pls keep updating regularly....
I get asked that a lot, even now.. I guess it was always a combination of the good, bad and ugly and that this was my first stint. Loyalty was an in-built conditioning.. And hey, the money was good : ). Most of my clients were good too..You know what i'm talking abt in terms of loyalty here as we share a similar background - with both parents working etc and that too mostly for the same org for years...
Really glad you read and liked it!! Your opinion means a lot.
Next post up soon, a thought process set off from something your pal said :-)
Gosh...These memos sound cruel (autocratic, sounds too kind) to say the least...On the lighter side, you are at last able to laugh it off as a bad dream..!
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