Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Brief Digression - Friends & Hearts of Gold

Am sure you'll forgive the brief digression from work-related chronicles for a random break from frivolity.

Found myself thinking of what makes a heart of gold and had to put this down.

As we go through life, it gets rarer to meet people you form close friendships or even friendships with, irrespective of their gender.

It happens, but at a slower pace, as one's growing years of school, college and sometimes early work days usually chronicle the start of lasting friendships which can easily pick up over the years where you left them off - if at all.

What differentiates a good soul from the selfish? Or from those who go through life blissfully unaware of anyone but themselves and their own problems?

I have been fortunate to keep meeting lovely people at every stage of life, some of whom slowly mature into lasting friends.

What tends to stick in my memory are simple acts of kindnesses, which have been good markers for the best human beings one knows - the good souls you meet through life.

Just small, simple, acts of consideration.

Whether a pal from yesteryears who makes it fun on the dance floor without making you feel like a dweeb, even though you can't shake a leg to save your life.

Or those who sacrifice a Saturday evening to attend a boring documentary film screening, get there early and stay right to the end, because they sense you need the moral support of a friendly face around.

Includes you in a gathering of their intimate buddies for a fun evening, probably knowing you’d be doing nothing otherwise.

At midnight, fixed up an emergency consultation with a top specialist doc for your friend (whom he doesn't even know), for 8 a.m. next morning.

Or someone who planned and surprised you with tickets and a visit to a one-dayer, knowing you hate watching cricket but still wanted you to experience it, live.

Contacts you occasionally long distance, nationally or internationally, just to say hullo in case you're wallowing in a rare bout of self-pity or loneliness.

Calls you up for your professional opinion on an issue, knowing fully well that he doesn’t really need it but just wanted you to feel involved.

Or indulged in a leisurely bout of shopping and long conversations over coffee, knowing you enjoy her company as much as she does yours.

Or invites you to visit and stay over with their family, in a new city.

Or sends over a tasty snack or special dish for a meal when you're alone, knowing you'd have lost motivation to cook.

Or have dedicated their lives to a social cause leading to a manic lifestyle and hectic schedule but still find time to call and see if you're doing okay every once in a while.

Or drives over at midnight on Xmas eve just for a leisurely chat over coffee.

These are only a few examples but what they all have in common is that none of them would ever mention this ever again, or possibly even remember it.

Or feel that it was any kind of a big deal.

This is a tribute to the truest hearts of gold I know for real, throughout my life - am fortunate and thankful for them.


Hiren Gajria said...

Ah, good to see a blog from the heart. This one is so very different from your usual office stuff.

Annoymously said...

It's good to know good people.

In a sentimental moment, wanted to pay tribute.

Yeah, let's hope the blog doesn't shift focus into private musings on a permanent basis :-)

Beta said...

A genuine self reflection. Commend you on being able to write so freely. I am still struggling internally whether to move in that direction.

I disagree that it gets rare to form lasting friendships as life progresses. Some of my best friends have entered my life off late.

Wonder if you guys have the same situation as me - having different clusters of friends from different stages of life that you are still in touch with and they all know you as different person since you have (d)evolved over time. May be I will write about this.

Hiren Gajria said...

Yes well said Beta. I agree some friendships develop as life progresses. I also feel that you should try to write freely with (reference to self reflection). You dont have to be explicit about your life - just give passing references. Y am i teaching you how to write - you do a much better job yourself.

About friends / clusters - yes i do have few clusters - most know me in the same fashion. Basic traits remain same. However my college cluster - and professional cluster would see two very different aspects of me.

Annoymously said...

Am glad it's rare for you Beta :-). It also depends on how outgoing you are for opportunities to arise to form friendships rather than acquaintanceships.

Like i did say, hv met and keep meeting great ppl - especially new neighbours who've grown into friends.

It's easy to write abt this here as currently you two are my only readers : ) and i don't know one half of you. And i hv the benefit of anonymity, wch makes it all the more easier. (Except when H persists on blowing my cover!!) For eg-the first four instances written abt- i know the chap in question is never gonna get down to reading it anyway.

You're right abt the different clusters - it's like that for most of us, childhood pals from the same neighbourhood, school, college, classes, workplaces, cultural exchanges, neighbours old and new, even rescue intervention efforts. It could also be occasion based - over dinner at someone's. Just this morning was at the airport at 7 a.m. to receive a relatively recent friend here just for a day - she was my ex-neighbour & it's good to see her!

Annoymously said...

Rightly said, Hiren. We are different personalities to different folks.

Swasti said...

Hi. Am really enjoying reading these. Specially enjoyed this one. Slightly different frm what u usually write.

Take care.

Annoymously said...

Glad to hear it! Always exciting to have new readers, especially stellar ones :) Happy you've joined the gang, you're in good company. This is certainly motivation to write on. Will, post the ides of May. Visited here after ages thanks to you.

There are some you will particularly enjoy, like Resuscitation....

Annoymously said...

Oh, and one does indeed meet good people at any stage of life - the kind we'd like to form close friendships with, my good fortune continues. :)